Happy 2021 everybody! Yes, this is the first time I’ve done any blogging this year. I’d say I had writer’s block but I don’t think I really did. In all honesty, I was just sick of blogging and everything that goes along with it.
Sounds dramatic, I know.
There is so much more to blogging than just writing though. It’s life consuming and with the way life has been over the last year I just didn’t have the energy to put into it. What I’ve realised though is, I do miss it.
I have had so much going on during Covid. I’m actually quite proud of what I’ve achieved! Three different courses have been passed and I’m now doing a fourth! So, I’m actually a certified Life Coach and NLP Practitioner as well as a Mental Health First Aider. In a few months I should have a photography qualification too.
I became a proper plant mum! There’s now over 30 green babies around my house and I’ve only killed a handful in this time. (If anyone ever tells you succulents are easy…. They lie!)
I’ve had some bad times too though. Unfortunately my Grandma passed away in October. The morning of her 90th birthday to be exact. It was sad having a funeral with only a handful of people and no wake. She would have wanted a huge party but we couldn’t even do that for her. I wrote about the last time I managed to go out with her here.
Things have been pretty crappy for me health wise too. One chronic condition seems to have now turned into two and I’ve been struggling a lot with that. I’m still dealing with the after effects from Cervical Cancer too. But I’ll be going into more detail about all of that another time.
I think this last lock down (I’m writing this in March 2021 and praying this is the last one!) has been particularly hard for everyone. People I know who have never suffered with ill mental health have suffered. I am usually such a positive person but I have suffered too. There have been days where I’ve just cried. Even in a house full of people, it’s felt lonely. And that’s why I want to get back into writing. Writing is my outlet. I can pour out my heart into a blog post. Even if it doesn’t go live, it’s healing and I always feel better for writing it out.
“I just want to be me again!”
I didn’t just lose the passion for writing though. As I said above, I lost love with everything. Blogging is a lot of socialising online and it takes a lot of time and effort. Social Media can be a really draining place at times. My Instagram account has started losing more followers than it gains and Twitter just became vile. There was just nothing good about it and I needed to come away. I even deactivated my Twitter! It didn’t last but I feel better for signing off for a while. I’ve come to accept that my Instagram won’t grow like it used to. I can’t control it’s algorithm unfortunately and I don’t just post food anymore. This means I am going to be unfollowed by certain communities. The follow/unfollow game is also still going strong! (When will people learn?)
So yes, I have a few ideas about what I want to do with my blog. I now just want to write for me again. I won’t be taking on any #ADs for a while. Mainly because, I don’t want the pressure. I got to a point where doing that kind of post was causing anxiety. Checking my emails would cause palpitations even though I’ve never missed a deadline. It’s strange, I just never felt like my sponsored posts were good enough.
Back to being me and writing because I want to, not because I have to.
It feels good to be back and I’ve already got ideas for content coming up. Thank you to everyone who reads this, it’s appreciated that you’ve stuck around.
Love to you all.