It seems really difficult to to remain positive with all the negativity we see on a daily basis. I’m not saying everyone should be in some happy bubble of ignorance all of the time. Some people though, just need a little boost of positivity. I’ve written this post to share ways on how to remove negativity from your life. These are tried and tested by myself.
I don’t ever remember life being so depressing when I was younger. Every which way you turn these days negativity just smacks you in the face. Which made me realise how much things have changed in the last 10/20 years.
I’m nearly 33 so I saw the beginning of huge technological advances. The birth of technology that we rely on today.
I do remember the days when the news was only on TV at certain times, you had to call your friends on the landline and the Internet was a noisy, screeching mess! Now there’s multiple 24 hour news channels and it’s the first thing you see when you open your Internet browser.
Internet bullying is now a thing and quite frankly, the media only seem to share the bad stuff that’s happening. It’s hard living in this day and age and still stay positive. So how can we help ourselves, even just a little? Here’s my 5 top tips on how to remove negativity from your life.
Stop watching/listening to the news.
This is something I’ve been doing personally for some time now. Mr laughed at me when I told him this is what I do but I find I’m genuinely happier because of it. I don’t avoid the news completely but I choose what I see. I don’t ever watch the news on TV, I turn the radio over and I ignore the Internet stories. If I fancy reading about anything then I’ll look it up on Google. I would much rather read feel-good stories and feel warm and fuzzy inside than read about what the government is screwing up now.
Because of the way technology is these days its much easier to do than you would expect. I’ll explain further on.
Stop reading/watching negative things on the Internet.
Social Media is always rife with negative videos and stories. They know what you watch, so will show more stories like that.
This is all down to algorithms. Each website takes note of what you do/watch/read every time you use it. There’s a possibility that some even listen to your conversations (though the company in question denies it). They then tailor your feed to what you use the most.
I’ve seen examples of this happening myself. I once got sent a link (by accident) to my work email for men’s designer shirts. I opened the link and for about a week after all the adverts I saw were for this men’s clothing company. I was on my works computer when I opened it but because I was logged in to my social media accounts they picked up on the fact I was looking at them.
The other example I’ve seen is mine and my other half’s Facebook feeds. He finds that his is always full of random crap from the likes of LadBible or car videos. Mine, usually dog videos and blogger opportunities. He watches lots of random videos on YouTube and his Facebook feed often reflects that. I don’t interact with much apart from cute animal videos and of course blogger things.
So if you want to stop seeing negative posts and videos, stop opening them and interacting. It doesn’t take long for them to vanish.
Remove negative people from Social Media.
This one is hard. I don’t think I’d have much of a friends list left if I deleted everyone that posts negative things. But, many of the platforms either have an Unfollow or Mute button. This means you will still have that person on your friends list but you will no longer see their posts on your main feed.
Plus, as per the last tip, if you stop interacting with that person they will eventually disappear from your feed too.
I have removed people from my friends list and some have even requested to be friends again but I won’t accept. I have no time for racism or people that continuously put others down.
Do things that make you happy.
It seems a little obvious but how many times have you gone along to something you really don’t want to do?
We’ve all done it at some point or another. We do things to make others happy but sometimes that can be detrimental to our own happiness. The trick is to learn to say no.
I do struggle with this at times. I have anxiety over going out out, I struggle to say no though as I know once I’m out I’m usually OK. If I said no to every social event, I don’t think I’d have any friends left! And I don’t have many to lose! What you can do in this situation though is find balance or alternatives.
Personally, I don’t get social anxiety when going out for dinner so I would always suggest that first which can then lead to drinks after. That way I don’t have time for the going out out anxiety to hit. Plus after a couple of drinks I’m usually ready to hit town!
Let go of insignificant things.
It’s amazing how long someone can hold a grudge for. I think that as I’ve got older I’ve realised that you don’t need to hold on to things when they make no difference to your current life.
I’ve learnt to accept that friends will come and go, you won’t always get on with everyone and life will get in the way of some things. There can be things that will scar a little deeper than others though.
As an example, say you were bullied at school. It holds horrible memories for you and you will never forgive the person who made your life hell. But why, 5, even 10 years later does that still affect you and you hold so much hatred for that person? I can guarantee they don’t think about you so don’t give them a thought either.
[I do realise that for some this is far easier said than done. Please do believe me when I say, I’ve been through some horrible times which I will never write about. They’re the past for a reason and I never want them in the forefront of my memory ever again so I can empathise with something like this.]
If letting go of things that have no current impact on your life seems that hard then please do seek some professional advice. CBT is an amazing form of counselling that helps change your thought processes and the way you look at situations. I studied it for a while and found it so interesting and helpful in my own situation at the time. I have considered it for my social anxiety but actually, I quite like being a slightly unsociable hermit. It gives me time to write posts like this and hopefully help others in the long run.
You can always head over to https://www.mind.org.uk/ if you feel you need some support.
Just always remember that negativity does not need to be a part of your life. It has no business being there so don’t let it be. We are the ones in control of our lives and we only get one shot.
Do you have any other tips on how to remove negativity from your life?